Ragtime Gal
by The madness in me
Summary: After Zack plants himself in the generals office all day leaving him with a splitting headache Sephiroth plots the worlds most perfect revenge.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello ma baby, hello ma honey, Hello ma ragtime gal_

Sephiroths eye twitched as the music blared throughout his office destroying any hope of him getting his work done.

Across the room Zack was taking up the entire length of the Generals office sofa, cackling like a madman watching a cartoon frog dance around his laptop screen.

"Fair" He ground out through gritted teeth "Don't you have something important to do? Somewhere else? Anywhere else!"

The young man glanced over the back of the chair and gave a carefree grin to his superior "Nah, I've got a free schedule all day today"

Sephiroths head started to pound as a migraine kicked in and he felt like the frog from the cartoon was dancing through his skull "Zack" He tried again, raising his voice "Please can you take your activities elsewhere!"

The teen might have been cowed by the tone of his Generals voice had he actually heard it. As is happened at that exact moment Zack descended into an intense laughing fit, howling and pointing at his screen like an over excited child.

"ZACK!" The General shouted. Finally drawing the boys attention away from his cartoon.

As much as he wanted to tell the boy to just go away, Sephiroth knew he couldn't. If he did Zack would go and whine to Angeal about it who would then come and lecture him for hours about being nice to his student. Goddess forbid the poor little puppies feelings get hurt.

"Maybe your little Cadet friend would like to watch some cartoons too?" He said instead, hoping that would be enough to encourage the young man to leave. "You should go hang out with him"

"That's a great idea!" Zack sat up straight and began rising to leave. Sephiroths heart leapt in joy

"Ahh, damn I just remembered, he's on a mission today" Sephiroths heart dropped back down as Zack did.

Three hours and one killer headache later Zack was finally called away by his mentor for an afternoon training session

Sephiroth swore revenge.

It had to be perfect.

It had to be something that would drive the boy crazy but at the same time would have zero repercussions for Sephiroth himself.

What to do? What to do?

The idea came to him in a flash of inspiration.

It was beautiful.

It was genius.

It was poetic.

His opportunity came soon enough.

Every week one of the three Generals cooked dinner for the other two and by default Zack too.

This week was Genesis's turn, which was ideal for the simple reason that Genesis could not cook, meaning that inevitably... "ANGEAL HELP!"

Having been waiting for this cry Angeal was ready and shot down the hall to the kitchen slamming the door shut behind him to keep the smoke contained.

Sephiroth heard to door click into place and knew it was time.

Him and Zack were finally alone.

The most legendary General in the world stood gracefully

He moved to the middle of the room.

He danced.

He danced with more enthusiasm than he had ever shown in anything before. Spins, twists, dips. Swivel hips, and pelvic thrusts. He grooved, he jived, he bogeyed and twerked. It was like a mashup of every dad dance ever danced. Beautifully horrendous.

Zack sat gaping in shocked amazement. No idea what was happening.

The kitchen door opened again and before the smell of burnt food even reached them Sephiroth was back in his seat, not a hair out of place, looking like he had never moved.

Zacks jaw was on the floor, his whole body frozen "Whu...What?.."

The Generals green eyes met the SOLDIERs dead on, face blank and expressionless betraying nothing of the glee he felt inside.

Angeal and Genesis were moving towards them, plates in hand.

In a whisper that only Zack could hear Sephiroth completed his revenge.

"No one will ever believe you"

* * *

Anyone who hasn't seen the video with the frog please type 'ragtime gal frog' into youtube now. It will all make sense.

Reviews are adored.


	2. Chapter 2

"Angeal he does it every time you leave the room I swear!"

"Zack that's enough, I cant listen to this insanity anymore. it was funny at first but its going too far now."

"But its true."

"Zack stop. Don't you realize how insane you sound? This is Sephiroth you're talking about. I've known the man for years and I can tell you with absolute certainty, He. Does. Not. Dance!"

"But he DOES!"

"No. I'm done. I don't want to hear another word about this. Keep it up and I will have you running laps until you're too tired to dream up madness like this."

"I'm not lying" Zack pleaded as his mentor walked away.

"Angeal? Angeal?" The older man didn't even glance back

"I'M NOT CRAZY !"


End file.
